WHEN IT RAINS

[Celestria Hesenn]

Celestria hated to feel as though she was trapped, and even though she was in a huge house, that is exactly how she felt on this particular day. trapped. even though she knew there were people in the house she was alone in the area of which she was situated. she had curled herself in a comfy manner on a chair in the library, a book in her hands, her high heeled shoes on the floor. her feet were tucked under her as she read the words on the page. she felt trapped because she couldn't get the thought of her affair with her fiance's brother out of her read, even as she read the work in her hands.

A soft sigh fell from her lips as she closed the book, trying to find remedy in the works was not really helping the direction of her thoughts. No matter what was written in the pages her mind still wandered back to Visserion Sa'achern, the handsome eldest brother, and what she would find herself doing behind her fiance's back. Despite wanting this thought to disappear for once, she felt at ease thinking of Visserion. She couldn't help it, he was rugged, strong, and vast in many ways. Celestria was attracted to strong men, thus she was attracted to her fiance... but Celestria was also attracted to Visserion. It is a shame, though, that so much of her love may be wasted on someone who may not love her.

Standing to place the book back on the shelf she tripped, she had forgotten that she had her heels lying in front of the chair. Celestria laughed it off, placing the book in it's rightful place after she regained her balance. Good thing no one had been around to see that, it could have been a potentially embarrassing moment had she not been alone. Normally she is not clumsy, though, being forgetful of one's shoes can add some clumsiness into one's life.

tag ceried'a
word count 329
note yeaa

[/justify]

[Ceried'a Itonris Sa'achern]

Ceried'a had left the royal hall after a meeting with the King's advisers, the whole lot of them fools she thought as she moved pasted the robed members whispering and conversing, close behind her the King's very own doppelganger as she stepped quickly to get out of sight.

War and land seemed to be the only thing on men's minds. Thoughts of gaining honor and the romantic ideas of battles that they'd fooled themselves into believing as young men no doubt. She wanted to show them the error of their ways, but even the King telling them to think of the strength of the kingdom from building within instead of taking outside of their walls did not seem to please the blood lust beginning to grow in the hearts of many. It was not that she had any affection for Niendra, but she wasn't keen on just sending her sons into battle yet.

Once out of sight of any prying eyes she sent her illusion away, letting him fade into nothing as she brought her fingers up to her lips, gnawing at one nail viciously as she continued to stroll through the halls of her palace. The loose skirt of her dress fluttered out behind her, the burning dark orange offset only by the soft creamy yellow of the silk beneath it, a belt holding it to her waist as the bodice twisted up in a flare of fabric to tie at on shoulder showing off expanses of flesh that before she was not allowed to show save for in her bed chambers. Little by little freedoms were gained, more of those who held her back eliminated and--

A laugh caught her ear as she moved into the interior room of the libraries. No doubt it was a maid partaking of a young guard. Ceried'a enjoyed catching these trysts, not to scowl and scold, but to simply know that somewhere someone was enjoying themselves. However turning a corner she found not a maid of her court but rather her youngest son's bride-to-be.

When she'd been fourteen she'd been married off...paid for like a slave as her parents told her that love did not matter, only what could be gained to improve one's status. It was not far along after that she'd had her first son and sworn to protect some girl from being force to be taken by them. Celestria was an interesting case though , her husband picking her out, approving of her rather quickly learning her history and setting up the arranged meetings so as to make sure her youngest son would be caught up in the idea. Where as Ceried'a had expected some powerplay from her husband to pick a girl with a connection that provided more pull for himself and his country the choice had raised some questions.

She didn't disapprove of Celestria, but to have first the youngest son be chosen a mate first before the eldest, and second a girl like her...well Ceried'a had stayed up many nights trying to figure out just why. Her husbands actions being taken to the grave with no answers. However her son seemed happy enough and she found herself fancying the pairing simply for the fact of her child's happiness.

"Celestria...you do know you are allowed to take books with you from here if you wish?" She spoke up, her voice more of a soft purr as she examined her slowly, smiling in a warm motherly way as she moved in a little closer. "This place has not been dusted in ages...there are few who come here. Though it is quite a lovely place. I begged my husband for most of these books. Before this place was even more desolate had it not been for his mother who had insisted upon some educational library." Pulling an old book from its place she smoothed a hand along it's worn leather spine like a pet needing to be soothed before she looked back up at the young girl.

[Celestria Hesenn]

Celestria hadn't really expected anyone to come into the room, least of all the Queen of Carthonia herself, but she was honored to have the presence of the Queen in the room. She had quite a liking to the Queen; she was a strong, independent, and nice woman who loved her husband. She saw Ceried'a as a woman of honor, and Celestria had the highest respect for her. By now one should be used to the fact that she lives in the palace of the royal family of Carthonia, seeing as how she would soon be wed to the second son, but occasionally she felt so much like herself that it would completely slip her mind.

She smiled at the woman before her, "Yes, Queen Ceried'a. I know." She gave the Queen a small nod, trying to remember that she was family now, she was no longer a Lady in the court. Of course, she felt she still had to show just as much respect to the family now that she did when her grandmother was teaching her to be the Lady she came out to be, despite her being the Gypsy daughter of a Gypsy. "It is just so beautiful and surreal," Celestria smiled as she moved her fingers over the dusty spines of many books. "Such a great place to relax and read a good book."

tag ceried'a
word count 228
note (:

[/justify]

[Ceried'a Itonris Sa'achern]

A book of the Great War, the last one to come about. It was worn, the words in it read many times as a great many people had come to try and learn from it. Try to become something more than these pawns listed as rulers and leaders of armies that allowed so many to die. Ceried'a pondered the words inside for a moment longer before she moved to hold it to herself.

"That it is...that it is indeed. It is a wonderful little escape from life. However I would think you'd been more keen to spending time with your soon to be husband? My son cares greatly for you, and I think it's only fair that you both get to grow closer. I know all too well how the rush of a marriage can blind a person and give them no time to recover." Or in her own case no time to fight. If she'd suspected for one minute that Celestria would have been in any way treated as she had been she would have sent her off with the first group of entertainers to come through this capitol.

"There has not been much talk of wedding preparations since the King had become sick. I do hope nothing is causing you any worry over all of this." She replied before moving to take a seat by a far window overlooking the courtyard, "I have no idea what your grandmother told you or made you study, but I know that even for you this much seem such a strange affair. If you have any concerns you are more than welcome to voice them to me. I know how it is to be a young bride."

Leaning back in her seat a bit she let her fingers flip through the pages of the book she held, "To be married to the second son before the first has a bride must seem strange. To become a princess, a part of our family so suddenly...you will along side my other children help one day run this country of mine. A library is fine to run away to, but it will not make life any easier once you leave these doors." Looking up she locked her gaze on the young woman, studying her, searching her, "What are you thoughts my dear? Of this country? The state of this world?"

[Celestria Hesenn]

Decidedly she figured she would just listen to the Queen as she spoke so eloquently and kindly. Of course, Celestria's mind was elsewhere. She was still thinking on her affair. That was the only thing on her mind lately and she quite loathed how she could not stop thinking about Visserion, she couldn't stop the thoughts of how her betrothed (and his family) would act if they knew. She didn't want to think about it, but she knew that in the state of shock in which they were in now... with the country verging on a war because the king had been poisoned, her so-to-be-family didn't need any added stress. And her and Visserion's affair would certainly add some stress.

The thing was, Celestria didn't know why she bothered with Visserion, though he is attractive. She has herself a loving caring man who respects her, and despite her being just a common girl from off the streets of Carthonia, he loves her. She knows he does simply by the way he touches her, looks at her, talks to her. Is she so willing to give herself fully to a man who may not love her when she has one that does? Taking a deep breath, she positions herself before the window, looking out her eyes dormant and vague. Though she loves him, and he loves her, she can feel that there is something going on between them that she's utterly oblivious about. And for some reason, she cannot help but feel guilty -- though she doesn't even know if it is her doing.

Biting her bottom lip she went back to listening to the Queen as she mentioned her second son. Celestria and her betrothed have not mentioned their wedding much... it would ocassionally be brought up by him, and very rarely her... but she wasn't quite sure what she was thinking. She was not quite sure what her soon-to-be-husband was thinking on it either. Ceried'a was right, Celestria should be talking with him more on their wedding. Unfortunately, the girl is young, and she's never really thought, dreamed, or even seen anyone be wed. She never really had the time, so to speak, to ever dream like most common girls did. She is about to enter every girl's dream head-on, and she had never even dreamed it herself.

She is not qualified for this role. She is not fit for it. Yet, here she is talking to the Queen in person, in a library in the palace. For some reason, her Sa'achern found her fascinating, found her interesting, or at least enough to consider being wed to her. Though the King accepting it, his second son married before the first, and to a common girl of all people... it even brought questions to her mind. No doubt she was honored, but sometimes she feels as though she does not fit it. "I love him, your son, I do..." She smiled, the love evident in her eyes, "I love how beautiful Carthonia is when one is looking out of a window of this palace; I have never quite seen Carthonia as beautiful as I am seeing it now."

She paused, gulping. She was not quite sure what she would say or how the Queen would respond. She closed her eyes, a faint smile on her face. A sigh just before she spoke again, "Queen Ceried'a, I fear that I am not well enough for him. I am simply the gypsy daughter of a gypsy, I am just a girl from the streets. And he is a prince. I love him, and I love the idea of being with him... but I cannot help but feel..." She paused, wrinkling her forehead as she tried to think of the appropriate word, but it was evading her at the moment. She sighed nodding her head as she could not think of anything.

"I apologize," She turned to the Queen, a sad smile on her face. She felt ashamed, idiotic, and horrible that she unwillingly and inappropriately voiced her thoughts. Thank Nero that she had not let it slip about she and Visserion. She down cast her eyes sharply, she felt ashamed and pathetic. She hated to admit, especially to the Queen of Carthonia, that she was not ready, that she had no idea what to do. So, she left it at that. A blank canvas with one thick line from a brush; the artist no longer has muse. As Ceried'a asked her about her thoughts on the country, the world, this home, she didn't know how to answer. She was the image of a doe-eyed girl who had been asked what her dream in life was. She had not thought much into it, therefore she had no answer. She looked at the Queen with a pathetic smile on her face and nodded, even more ashamed of herself than ever.

She felt as though she was going to burst into tears. Honestly, it would not surprise her if she did.

tag ceried'a
word count 836
note woo~

[/justify]

[Ceried'a Itonris Sa'achern]

When it came to wedding Ceried'a always assumed that she'd be talking to her sons more than her daughters-in-law. She'd made up her mind when Visserion was born that when the time came she would tell her children her story, would tell him to pick a mate he loved and not just lusted after or desired for reasons of treaties and things. She was close to practically begging her sons to heed what she'd taught them while that sat in her lap and listened to her stories...she wished nothing more to create better kings and princes then those before them. Ceried'a herself never had a proper wedding, dragged to the palace in tears, the blood of her almost lover still dried in her hair and on her skin before washed off roughly by the hands of maids. Shoved into a dress she'd seen only once she spent her ceremony outside of her own body watching more than experiencing what she thought was suppose to be happiness.

Celestria for the briefest moment seemed to hesitate even as she spoke of love, and it was that which made Ceri come to attention now. There it was, in those words...she'd spent enough time playing court games to know enough to see what fell in-between the breath of words instead of in the words themselves. She felt her body tense a little, listening raptly. Just what was it she wasn't saying? Even as the confession came she couldn't help but feel something was not there that should have been. Still she waved it off as best as she could.

Taking the book in her hands she lifted it up before bringing it down with a soft 'whap' upon the other's head, not to injure or create any sort of pain, but simply to bring her back to the now as it seemed her worries had begun to consume. "You are apologizing for what exactly? Have you done something wrong?" She pulled back, not really annoyed, but frustrated hearing the young girl caught up in all of this, "I love my sons, my children...and if you've done them some great wrong then I will except your apology and punish you with what seems justly, however being frantic about a wedding is by no means something to be ashamed about." She sighed, crossing her arms as she stood near Celestria, setting aside her book.

"You are marrying the youngest prince, and heaven forbid any tragedy to Visserion and his future wife, you will remain a princess for the rest of your life...your children will be given the freedom from the weight of the crown and the means to pursue their loves, and I have no doubt that my youngest would sooner die than make you feel like a caged bird. You marriage is out of love, the King's choice second only to the feelings of the Prince." Taking Celestria's chin she lifted her head up to look at her, "You are a lady by blood. However, if you feel that you are not worthy or are not ready there are no chains binding you to us. My youngest son would be most heartbroken if you choose to leave, but no bride should feel trapped." Releasing her chin she stroked the other's soft brown hair, much like a mother to a child. She wasn't sure if she felt pity for Celestria for her feelings, or if her own were clouding her judgement, still she felt the need to comfort her.

"If you would rather find your people I will give you whatever means you need to do so."

[Celestria Hesenn]

Celestria was in great thought before the book was whacked gently on her head with a soft thud. She hadn't been expecting that, but it certainly got her attention and she smiled at the queen trying not to let her worries watch over her. Lately she had been a bit stressed, simply for the fact that she and her betrothed should in fact be speaking of what they were planning for the wedding but they hadn't been talking about that much. Celes adored the idea of marrying the second son, even though she truly wished she were marrying the eldest. She had a fancy for the eldest brother, so strong, that didn't compare to her fancy for the younger prince.

Love was the thing that was holding her close to her fiance, she adored him and the idea of what they could be; she didn't want to lose that. Though, she couldn't deny that she would go running to the eldest prince if he told her that he loved her. She would drop her fiance like hot cakes if the eldest ever spoke those words. In all honestly, she felt completely awful for even considering dropping someone she had grown to love so quickly. It made her ache inside. Celestria felt like a complete bigot even considering any other option. She needed to let it all go, it was starting to get to her and even the queen was starting to notice that she was acting strangely. With her bright green eyes she looked at the queen as she spoke, a soft smile on her face as love became the subject.

"I love him," she said, her eyes and voice full of honesty, as she smiled at the thought of her and her betrothed. She did love him, but she also loved his brother. "I would never do your family any wrong, I wouldn't think of it." She nodded her head side-to-side. She couldn't even picture herself hurting them, even though what she was doing could potentially hurt the family. Celestria wouldn't even purposefully hurt anyone; she loathed the fact that what she was doing would hurt them if it were found out. It tempted her so much to end it, but she was addicted to what she hoped her partner in the affair felt for her.

Turning from the queen, hiding the tears that she could feel welling in her eyes, before she turned to face the queen once again. "I adore the idea of marrying your son," she smiled gently, "I'd be most pleased to be his bride, and have his children in the future. In fact I pray for that day, it will be the most precious day of my life, save from the day your son asked for my hand." She crossed her arms, giving a slight laugh before she looked out the window with a smile on her face. "I can even see it now, having little princes and princesses running around with smiles on their faces," she pictured it in her head, the tears almost coming to her again because the image so beautiful in her mind. She went off into her own little world, seeing herself and her future husband beside one another, holding hands, hugging and kissing, and their children laughing and playing. It was so clear to her.

She turned toward the queen once again as she heard the words. The smile seemed to fall quickly from her face before she regained herself. "Oh no, I am most happy where I am." She smiled, "But I do appreciate it." She touched her hand to her lips, her eyes going back to the image of her soon-to-be family.

tag ceried'a
word count 616
notes

[/justify]

[Ceried'a Itonris Sa'achern]

Ceried'a had never expected to talk with her hopeful daughter-in-law like this or about the idea of marriage in a way that would dredge up her own painful memories. She felt for the young woman simply for the pressures that were no doubt placed upon her. Tensions throughout the kingdom had been high, talk of war. It was a sad idea to try and marry during a time when peace was so unstable, but such a celebration might be just right touch to perhaps once more gain peace.

"I am happy that you love him, and I pray to Nero that you mean that with all your heart and are not saying that for me or your family. A royal title is heavenly granted, but never to be something forced." She all too well about forced things upon her. Even now she was forced to keep up this charade of the king's health and life as little as she cared for it because without it she could lose everything.


She gave a small chuckle as she watched the other pull away from her, "I am not asking for grandchildren yet...goodness I can barely believe that my children are full grown and ready for such things as marriage. Still take your time. I was a young bride and mother...as great as it is to have a family there is still a life to be lived and enjoyed." She'd had her first son just after her fifteenth birthday, and for those blessed moments she was a loved woman, a happy woman, but slowly that all came crashing down. Now while marriage for her first son was being arranged she knew of ladies of her court her own age just beginning their families. "I give me grandchildren and I will have no idea if I'm young or old." She teased before stroking the girl's hair.

"Make my second son a happy man and you will be the third daughter I've always wanted but never got. I know you do not have a mother any longer, and if it is not so painful to ask I want to be that mother to you Celestira." Pulling her in she hugged her gently, kissing her forehead before she smiled gently.

All was right, this was how it was suppose to be. Love.

"I will have dress makers brought in for you. Even if it is not so soon it cannot hurt to play with pretty dresses and imagine of the happiness you will bring when that day comes." She smiled, "Perhaps if the Niendrian ambassadors were to see something so wonderful they they'd be less set on tearing our world apart with war."

[Celestria Hesenn]

Celestria felt that she could not say much else more on the subject of love that they both had not spoken of all ready. A smile was on her face as she listened to the voice of the Queen continue to speak to her. This may have been one of the longest conversations she and the Queen had had since her first few days here. It wasn't because they were trying to avoid one another, simply the Queen was a very busy woman, on top of the stress of the tensions between their country and Niendra. She was a Queen, and though the King was there, more-or-less, the Queen dealt with all the matters herself. She was strong and she had always been strong even from such a young age. Though Celestria was not that young, she still felt she and the Queen had something in common.

Simply Celestria laughed softly and genuinely as the Queen mentioned she was not ready for grandchildren, which was understandable. She wasn't quite ready for children either, but she could not help but picture her and her husband, older, with children running around. It was such a happy ending. And she though, and hoped, that it was an image of what she really wanted. Laughing softly as the Queen made a joke, her eyes went instantly soft. Celestria had high respect for the elder lady. She was a mother figure to her, and she was a great Queen and mother to her own children.

As that thought came to mind, no sooner did the words come to Ceried'a herself. She couldn't, very well just eagerly say yes. She didn't want to seem to eager, but she also didn't want to seem prudent. She appreciated everything the Sa'achern family did for her and she appreciated her husband and his sibling, his mother especially. All she could do was smile and nod, "Thank you." Her voice was coated with genuine appreciation and respect for the woman before her. This woman was the epitome of the Carthonian Queen. She is everything the people expected in their Queen, and more.

"That should be good fun," she smiled at the Queen's offer. Her eyes brightening back to their normal bright, light green; as earlier they were a darker, dismal shade variant.

written for ceried'a
word count 382
notes short.

[/justify]

[Ceried'a Itonris Sa'achern]

As Ceried'a held the young girl who would one day be princess she wondered if she was doing the right thing. No doubt there were girls all over the kingdom who wished to be where this one was, but how much of that was their own desire, and how much was that of their families? To let her go with enough to make her own means, she did not seem to want to leave, and that made the Queen happy, but at the same time she worried if one day she would not live to regret this decision.

Her son would hear from her once she could find the time to have him alone. He had seemed so distant lately that she worried of if he was aware of the woman who was to be his wife right now and her feelings.

"My sweet dear I hope only that you find more happiness than I did in marriage." She replied gently pulling from the embrace slowly, "That is all a mother can wish." It was what she wished for many now it seemed, though after being trapped to the same man for so many years she was beginning to feel full of life once more. Stepping back she relinquished her hold on the book she had, placing it on the small wooden table, "I will send out messengers right away then. With the Peace Conference coming up the men will be so busy that you and I can have our fun. Who knows, maybe there will be peace to follow marriage."

Smoothing a hand down her loose silks and cottons she once more looked out the windows at a view she had not seen for a long time, "I shall leave you to your books my dear. They will if anything make your life richer and your soul wiser, and today in this world we need more of such things." Gathering up her skirt with her hand she started towards the door. Still so much to do today, but the delay worth the small joy it brought.

[Celestria Hesenn]

Smiling at the Queens embrace, she felt so warm inside. The Queen was being so nice to her, and though she knew the Queen was generally a nice woman she didn't have to be nice to her if she didn't choose to. Celestria felt so welcome here; it made her heart feel so warm that she could be around such a loving people and be welcomed as if it were nothing. And though she is only marrying the youngest child, and though that is a big deal, she felt as though she fit right in. She felt as though she belonged. Most of her adolescent life she had being trying to find a place where she felt she belonged, thus her occasional bouts of misbehaving with her friends but here it only took being in love.

Celestria was a lot calmer when she was here, she didn't feel like she needed to do things to find herself. She could be who she was, though on occasion she had to refrain from her adolescent behavior she could still be herself with her betrothed and his family. She adored them and she could not wait to officially be a member of the family. She could hardly wait to be wed to her husband. But in herself she had to make a decision.

Celestria adored her betrothed, but she also loved his elder brother. She had always loved the eldest royal son, even as a child when she heard stories of them or when she saw them occasionally when they made appearances. He was always confident and appeared so strong. The youngest was usually a shadow of the eldest, even though he still had confident and honor he didn't seem to shine as brightly as the eldest. Or at least not in her eyes. Though when she had caught the attention of the youngest, who had become quite the sight the older he became, she could not exactly deny his hand. He was kind, gorgeous, and he was respectable, and of course his being a Prince just came with the package. Somehow he was interested in her.

Love came easy to her, for him. He was kind to her, and she needed that. He respected her and somehow was interested in someone who rebelled against her own family. At first she didn't understand it. Although she loved her betrothed, she also loved his brother. She had a choice... though she did want to marry the second son...

As the Queen left the room she softly spoke, "Thank you."

written for ceried'a
word count 425
notes it's crap >.< and i think this may be the end of this thread possibly? i'm not sure!

[/justify]